NEWS? NEWS! (NEWS . . .)

So, with the relaunch of my website in a whole new shiny format, the spot where I’ve randomly put blog posts, recipes, ridiculous versions of songs you know and may or may not love (WHO, BESIDES B-SHAP, DOESN’T LOVE W.A.P.? I mean come on…) is now...

Whoa Flat Boobies…

Sung to the tune of Black Betty by Ram Jam… Whoa flat boobies, mammogram. Whoa flat boobies, mammogram. Gonna put ’em on a slab, mammogram. For machines to grab, mammogram. Thing’s cold as hell, mammogram. Gotta say oh well, mammogram. I said, Oh,...

BIG ZUCCHINI- W.A.P. PARODY

“It’s scary. Do it anyway.” MenuSKIP TO CONTENTSearch Big Zucchini (WAP parody) AUGUST 19, 2020 / L.L. CURTIS (Background) There’s some hoers in this house There’s some hoers in this house There’s some hoers in this house There’s some...

Fucking Amazing Crab Mac & Cheese

Made some crab mac & cheese for a thing tomorrow at work. They don’t deserve it. BUT a dear friend of mine needed a “recipe” for it which I did not have because I wing it 99/100 of the time and its a lot easier to create a recipe while making the...

Of Course Her Name Was Cherry . . .

Most “adventures” I’ve had in my life, (i.e. reckless, indiscriminate sex), have all happened organically. And, by organically, I obviously mean while out behaving poorly at sweaty nightclubs or at house parties where much alcohol was consumed...

To All The Men I’ve Shown the Door (song)

To all the men I’ve shown the door To all the dicks I’ve mocked before You couldn’t make cum And all your words were dumb To all the men I’ve shown the door To all the head I gave too soon From Mid-December to the month of June Wish I could take it back Your oral...

Creamy Green Enchilada Chicken Soup

So I’m back on the Keto bullshit. I say bullshit with love, I promise. Keto is pretty fucking easy to stay on and the literal only way I can transition from eating ALL the bullshit to eating like a reasonable human who is fueling their bod. Don’t get me...

Impeachment Cobbler? Yes Please.

I don’t know what it is, but the after watching the news tonight, I thought, hey. You know what sounds really fucking delicious? IMPEACHMENT COBBLER, THAT’S WHAT! Fuck yeah. So that’s what we’re making tonight. HERE’S AN IMPEACHMENT...

Autumn Lamb Stew

I had a version of this back when I first moved back to the Pacific Northwest (my home!) from where I had been living in the San Francisco Bay Area. The Bay Area is lovely, but it just ain’t me, you know? Sometime during my first week back, I found myself...

Roasted Butternut Squash Soup

IT’S DECORATIVE GOURD TIME, MOTHERFUCKERS! It’s also time for soup. Warm, tasty, nourishing soup. It’s Autumn (Fall, for you folks who hate syllables), and this year, Autumn feels like it skipped right to Winter, it’s a trip. And it’s...