Hey there!
I know it’s the beginning of Spooky Season (when did we start calling it this?), and Christmas and Hanukkah and all that stuff isn’t for a while, but here’s the thing:
I’m going to be in the states for a half minute next week, and while I’m there, I have access to services that send mail – WHICH I SORT of have access to down here, but it costs an arm and a fucking leg AND it takes weeks.
And I miss holiday cards. I do. I miss sending them, and I miss finding them in my mailbox. It was one of my little traditions I looked forward to each year, and since leaving the country, it hasn’t been a thing.
That said: I am running a promotion for my subscribers on Patreon and Substack!
From now (actually, I will make this retroactive from Oct 1 forward) unti I get up to the states and pick up my stuffs, anyone who picks up a paid subscription to either my Substack or my Patreon (Level 2 or higher), YOU’RE GETTING A MUHFUGGIN PERSONALIZED HOLIDAY CARD!
I will sit my ass down and write a little holiday note to you, and I will do this because I appreciate the holy everliving fuck out of those who subscribe to my bullshit – it helps me get things edited, published, and out the door. I literally cannot do it without the support of folks like you. XO
And look, I’m a big fuckin heathen and, technically, I’m Jewish. I’m also an atheist nonpracticer of any religion and I don’t see Santa as a deity, I just like the guy, alright? So, again, if you’re like “Fuck that bearded dickweed,” please don’t worry, I get it. I’m not sending him to your home like a goddamn missionary hellbent on spreading the word of St. Nick, I promise.
So yeah – if you’re already a free subscriber and upgrade to a paid subscription?
BAM! HOLIDAY CARD.
If you’re a new subscriber?
BAM! HOLIDAY CARD!
Sign up and send me your mailing address to: lisaleecurtis@gmail.com This part is important because like how the fuck else would I get your card to you?
Would you prefer to get your card digitally? . . . because like “Lisa, there’s no fucking way I’m telling you where I live, you creep.”
THAT’S TOTALLY FINE! I wouldn’t want me to know where I live either! So when you sign up, don’t even worry about sending me your address, I’ll see your email address in the “new subscribers” notifications and I’ll send you something to your inbox.
And a reminder: If you sign up to Patreon and choose the OMFG PURPLE LEVEL! for $19.99 (USD) a year, you will also get free ebooks of whatever I publish as long as you’re a current subscriber.
So yeah. Pick your favorite platform and go nuts:
Patreon:
OR
Substack:
And yes, my return address – the address where I can receive mail and occasionally check it when I fly north to see my kids & stuff – will be on the envelope, and yes, I’m totally cool with you sending me a card or a bag of cash or a tiny hairless cat that I can name Ethyl or Bartholomew and dress in tiny yet fashionable sweaters.
XOXO